I believe the universe is made up of tiny, little universes all rolled into one big ball of earth and water. For example, my house is a tiny universe, and so is my neighbor’s. I’ve been thinking about this for a while and it’s sort of driving me crazy.
I was smoking outside my house and for the first time ever, I decided to sit down, listen to the quiet and just look at everything. It was quite the moment. For a while, I felt how small and insignificant my problems were. They all just didn’t feel so… overwhelming. I looked at the sky and saw the stars and began to wonder what it would be like to live in one. Granted, they’re all giant balls of gas and fire but if the world really is made of tiny universes, then stars could have them, too, right? The moon might be quite nicer, though, I think.
Of course, I could be wrong about this. Generally, us, as a human race, could be wrong about a lot of things. What if there are more than nine planets (I still believe Pluto is a planet)? What if there are no other planets at all? Jesus Christ, what if the Earth wasn’t a planet but something else (or something more) entirely that we haven’t discovered yet?
It’s so beautiful, I think, about the fact that there could be something more. There’s more to life than yourself and it also holds true that there’s more to yourself than life. It’s the most beautiful thing.
(Of course, it’s quite the struggle but I don’t think it’s enough to destroy you or anything).
Keep in mind, though, that I could be wrong. There’s always that possibility that one is wrong about everything. You think you’ve been through life and you think you know what you’re supposed to do all the time and then somehow, the world finds a way to prove you wrong.
So where else does that leave us except to grow? I mean, the only logical thing to do would be to move forward, right? But what if we get tired of always being proven wrong? What then? Is that why some people choose to take their own lives? Is that why people are so cruel and heartless to others? Is that why people choose to be comfortable instead of whatever not being comfortable is?
“Ancora imparo.” Michaelangelo spoke these words on his 87th birthday in the year 1562. It’s a Latin saying which translates to “I am still learning.” Michaelangelo, one of the most profound and talented artists the world has ever seen, uttered “I am still learning” at the ripe, old age of 87. 87 years worth of art and accomplishments: the Sistine Chapel, the Creation of Adam, The Last Judgement, Madonna of Bruges and countless, countless others, yet he says he is still learning.
That drives me crazy. I’m only 21 yet I already feel too old and too tired for anything. Michaelangelo was eighty-freaking-seven. Does that make me ungrateful and arrogant? Or does that make me weak?
Maybe I’m being too black-and-white about this. Maybe this is one of those gray areas that never get shaded in.
I can’t stand not knowing things. I always feel like I have to know all the answers all the time.
But I guess if you know all the answers, maybe you’re just better off dead.